Big fight in front of child? It’s going to happen to even the most-cooperative of divorced parents. There’s a reason why you and your ex divorced in the first place, and more often than not, fighting played a role in the demise of your relationship. Just as we are capable of great kindness and love, we are capable of deep sorrow and passionate anger. Fights and disagreements are just one challenging component of what makes us human, or better, a collective of individual humans with our own thoughts, ideas, and emotions.
If you did have a big fight with your ex in front of your child, take a step back and evaluate the circumstances that led to the fight. It doesn’t matter if your side of the argument was completely in the right, as the issue isn’t really in the content of the fight or argument. What you want to identify is the context of the fight or arguement, and why it occurred in the first place. You especially want to determine why it occurred in front of a child.
Once you’ve determined the factors and circumstances that led to the agrument taking place in front of a child, do whatever you can to avoid similar circumstances in the future. If you have a sensible ex, they too will realize that it was regretable to make your child a witness to the fight. If at all possible, come to an agreement with your ex to avoid the same circumstances. An occassional argument won’t impact your child, but constant arguing and fighting certainly will.
If you are continually fighting with your ex, take a hard-look at what is truly important in your life, because it’s not your children. Chances are you know of a divorced couple who no matter the circumstances, can’t put on their big-kid pants and suck-it-up for their kid’s sake. No matter how long it’s been since the ink has dried on their divorce papers, they hold on to the hurt and anger, refusing to move on. They suffer, their children suffer, and everyone around them suffers because of it.
Why Stop Your Fight in Front of Child?
Too many children of divorce live in the midst of constant parental battle. They have to witness the ongoing fighting, abuse, and toxic discord between the two people that they likely love the most. They are forced to question their loyalties, their emotions, and their own parent’s character. Because their parents weren’t willing to put them first, they face a future filled with anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt.
Just how willing are you to put your children first? Are you really willing to do what it takes to be a provider for your children? I’m not talking about a provider in the financial sense either, that’s the easy part. How willing are you to provide your children the love, reassurance, guidance, structure, and discipline they need to thrive? How willing are you to be the best character example you can be? What are you willing to sacrifice so your children don’t have to? Are you really willing to put your children first? Have no doubt that you can do it, because if my ex and I could, you undoubtedly can too.
Continue Reading – Chapter 2: Keep the Family Together After Divorce